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Ode To Luis Suarez Posted: 10 Jul 2013 03:49 AM PDT Apologies in advance, I haven’t attempted to write verse since my school days and I’m sure it probably shows. But parts of the below Ode to Luis Suarez have been buzzing around in my head for awhile so I decided to write them down and post them as a little filler between blogs. Dear Luis Suarez you've ruined my summer All the talk of your leaving has proved a real bummer You've been a Red hero, the star of the show I can hardly believe that your ready go I agree you're a victim of the British press But they hate us too because their Manc-obsessed Let's be honest you haven't helped yourself all the time Still, the media manhunt has been the real crime A comment deemed racist yielded an 8 game ban but it only yields 4 to an English man Your 10 game ban for biting was beyond defence Unless your an English international, in which case, it's a yellow card offence Every time your brought down it's a dive, the media claim without fail It's the height of bad cheating, unless your name's Gareth Bale Your complaining is highlighted, your branded a loony Why can't you be a good example to children, like their own beloved Wayne Rooney So the stories are spun with their rent-a-quote hype They really don't care for you foreigner types. FIFA say they'll kick racism out of the football one day Perhaps they should start with the British media and the English FA And through it all we've stood with you, through each stick and stone Always ensuring you did not walk alone We share your frustration and know that you've got good reason But doesn't our steadfast support deserve at least one more season The grass is not always greener, a career can be wrecked We write songs for our hero's, other clubs just write cheques We know you've had issues and sometimes it's been tough But smile and remember The Kop, singing We Just Can't Get Enough The decision is yours, but in case you're in doubt I'll try one more time to spell it all out Stay Red be a Hero, our number one guy Or go and play second fiddle to a lady boy Hope that wasn’t too painful! Keep the Faith

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Britain Ain’t Got Talent! Posted: 04 Jul 2013 11:44 AM PDT Great to see the club finally get their act together in the transfer market. Rodgers, Ayre and Co have been busier than a cross-eyed blackberry picker getting some of the club's transfer business done early and it makes a refreshing change from what we've become used to in recent years. I'm old enough to remember perhaps our greatest ever transfer window. That was the glorious summer back in the 80's when the club announced the signings of Barnes, Beardsley and Aldridge. I was more excited than a priest at an altar boy convention and to cap it all off, all three combined to score in the first game of the season. Great days, but since then our transfer activity over the years gradually went from bad to worst. Transfer highlights over the past couple of decades are rare and about 90% of our signings have been about as much use as an Amish electrician! Our list of past transfers reads like a who's, who of so what! A typical summer transfer window in our recent past would consist of us waiting for Rick Parry to return from holiday, for 10 months of the year we couldn't give a monkey's fart what he did with himself but for the couple of months we actually needed him, he would go on holiday. And even when he did eventually return he'd paddle around in circles like a one-legged duck! Last summer was another disaster but the winter window was successful and this summer has seen a great improvement in our transfer activity so far. It's not just the pace at which the business has been done but also that the club seems to have finally woken up to the fact that when it comes to football, we don't need a smug faced prat like Simon Cowell to tell us that Britain Ain't Got Talent! The club's fixation on signing British/English players in recent seasons has been frustrating and extremely costly. It makes my blood boil and leaves me shaking like a dog shitting glass to think of the £80million spent/wasted on the signings of Carroll, Downing, Henderson and Adam, not to mention the "free" signing of Joke Hole who cost the club an absolute fortune in signing-on fees and wages. A complete and utter waste of resources on a bunch of players nobody else particularly wanted. There is little talent and absolutely no value in the English market and not much up and coming talent judging by the results of the England Under 21's and Under 20's during the summer. The England Under 21's, including our own Henderson and Wisdom, were knocked out of the European Championships losing all three of their group games and the Under 20's captained by our own Conor Coady were knocked out of the World Cup also at the group stage, drawing 2 and losing their other game, in fact they haven't won a game at the Under 20 World Cup since 1997! As we've already found to our cost, established English players are completely over-priced and the young up and coming talent just doesn't seem to be there, beyond what we already have. So it's excellent to see the club using its scouting network to shop in other markets where the quality and value is much better and we can continue to develop our own home based players such as Kelly, Wisdom, Sterling and Coady among others. So it's all positive and I'm very happy with the signings so far. I think if the season were starting this weekend Marmalade, Coolio and Asda would be in our first eleven and Carlos will be competing with Tino. Of course every transfer is a gamble regardless of price or reputation but you can at least push the odds as much as possible in your favour and I believe the Rodgers and Co have done that with these four signings. I thought £9million was a little pricy for a goalkeeper initially but on reflection Marmalade has established himself as a top goalkeeper over the past two or three seasons in the Premier League and he is still a baby in goalkeeping terms so I think we've done well here. Coolio is a very clever signing in my opinion. He is very experienced and well acquainted with the defensive requirements involved in playing for a young attacking side from his time at the Gooners. I think he lost his way a little at City but at 32 he still has the tools and if he is as motivated as he sounds he could prove to be the bargain of the summer. If we get two or three seasons from him it will buy us the time we need to bring on the likes of Kelly and Wisdom. I guess we've all seen the You Tube clips of Asda and Carlos by now and they both look like exciting prospects, but You Tube clips can be deceptive. But at approx. £7million a piece the odds are loaded in our favour. I think they'll both be fine and I'm looking forward to seeing what they will bring to the side. More signings will undoubtedly follow. My money's on a left back, a centre back and another attacker, hopefully Mika Maka can be persuaded to come here for his Tika Taka, but if Suarez leaves it's going to be a momentous task to replace his goals and influence. It's a glum prospect, but you've got to take whatever positives you can from the negatives and make the best of things. So on the plus side his verbal diarrhoea at the Confederations Cup has at least alerted the club early to his intentions and I've no doubt Rodgers and Co will be already formulating plan B and C. And of course the other big plus is that Suarez signed a fresh contract last season and he will be going nowhere without the club collecting a big chunk of change to fund replacements. I'd still much rather have him with us next season but at least there are some options if it doesn't work out. Finally, the very best of luck to Jonjo Shelvey on his £6million transfer to Swansea. This is one of those transfer moves that I think benefits all parties. Swansea get a decent player, Shelvey gets regular football and Liverpool gain extra funds from a fringe member of the squad. He won't be the last to leave this summer, or at least I hope not! Keep the Faith

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The Return of the Prodigal – Gerry’s back at Kopblog Posted: 28 Jun 2013 02:53 AM PDT Kopblog editor and award winning blogger, Gerry Ormonde, makes a long awaited return to action, penning his thoughts on the summer so far. Well it's been a long time since I've written anything and I may be a little rusty but I've really missed this place and it feels damn good to be back. For those who remember me from my previous posts, hello again mates and for those who don't, hold on to your hats this could be a bumpy ride! Just to address some of the rumours regarding my absence, I have not been held in Guantanamo Bay, been in a Roy Hodgson induced coma, suffering from an unpronounceable STD or been abducted by aliens (again). The truth is I've just been busier than a cross eyed kid at a three ring circus but these are interesting times for Liverpool and I've got plenty to say, so here we go again! Good Luck Andy And Thanks For All The Fish I see Andy Carroll has finally become a Hammer which I think is pretty appropriate as I've always considered him a bit of a tool! I don't actually have a problem with the guy and genuinely wish him well blowing bubbles at Wet Spam but I'm just glad the whole sorry mess is over and we can put it behind us. Carroll's signing was a dreadful kneejerk reaction in response to the departure of The Traitor, which was the equivalent of swapping a Ferrari for a bread van! Not only did the club pay massively over the odds for the guy but the error was compounded by the fact that he had a knee injury at the time which kept him from making any meaningful contribution for the rest of that season. So had the club not rushed into things they could have held off until the summer and got a lot more for that kind of money but that's all water under the bridge now. Of course none of this is Carroll's fault and as I said earlier I don't really have a problem with the guy but I do have a problem some people whining about him not been given a chance or that he could have been kept as some kind of a plan B. In between his various injuries Carroll made about 60 appearances for the club and those yielded about 5 or 6 good performances from him. Outside of the games there would have been countless training sessions and all of this would have provided plenty of data for Rodgers to make an assessment of the player when we arrived at the club. What would more games or "chances" have revealed that wasn't already evident? Carroll has his talents. He is a big, strong bully of a centre-forward who would put his head on an airplane. What some people might refer to as an old-fashioned No 9, but "old-fashioned" are the operative words. The game has moved on. Forwards in the modern game are all about pace, mobility and are very comfortable with the ball at their feet, all elements that Carroll does not possess and no amount of "chances" would change that. He was never going to fit into the type of football Rodgers wants the team to play and when the opportunity came to send him out on loan and get him off the wage bill for a while, the boss took it and I applaud his decisiveness. I also believe keeping Carroll around as some kind of plan B, super sub would have done a lot more harm than good. When I was growing up in the 70's and 80's it was common practice among many teams, not Liverpool as it happens but a lot of teams, to send one of their centre-halves up front or have some 8ft tall knuckle dragger on the bench that they would bring on for the last 10 or 15 minutes of a game and hump the ball into the opponents box at every opportunity hoping for the best. It was a horrible "tactic" that occasionally worked but, thankfully, often didn't. Truth be told I think that's more or less what most people had in mind when they spoke of Carroll as a potential "Plan B" and there is no way Rodgers would ever resort to such a tactic. The manager has come to the club with a clear football philosophy that he intends to employ not just in the first team but throughout the club. He totally believes in this philosophy and works to instil that belief into his players. Each training session and each new addition to the squad is another step along that path. So for him to adopt a plan B that would basically involve throwing a big lunk on to the pitch and telling the players to forget all that other stuff and just hump the ball into the box would be a betrayal of that philosophy and potentially damaging to the development of the team. So I think we're well rid of Carroll but I'm sure he won't be the only one to exit the club during this transfer window. In recent years our squad would often contain more deadwood than a lumberjacks skip! Things aren't quite as bad this season but there are still several players I'd rather see moved on. As I've been writing this Liverpool have just confirmed the signing of goalkeeper Simon Mignolet who was impressive for Sunderland over the past couple of seasons but £9million does seem a lot. Now that this move has gone through it will be interesting to see what develops with Reina. I don't buy the "competition" line put out by the club, you don't pay £9million for a No2. Anyway, as for other departures I think Jay Spearing found his level on loan with Bolton in the Championship and should return there. If a decent offer came in I also think we should offload Shelvey as well. He's still quite young and there's no doubt he's got ability but his sometimes childish antics on the pitch and occasional rants on Twitter makes me think he may be developing into another Joey Barton and we could do without that. Ultimately he might be more trouble than he's worth so I'd move him on if the price is right. Jordan Henderson made some good progress last season and was quite impressive at times, particularly in the latter half of the season. I know the club tried to offload him last summer but he's come on a lot since then and I think he could be very useful to have in the squad next season. Joe Allen had the kind of season that Alton Towers would be proud of! He started his Liverpool career in excellent form but his form dipped dramatically in the second half of the campaign. Even so, I can't believe the amount of stick I've seen thrown at him in certain quarters. I was at a couple of those early games and he really was excellent, in fact I remember coming away from one game thinking we've got an absolute bargain, this guy is truly World Class. His loss of form coincided with a shoulder injury he'd been carrying and that has since been operated on. I have no doubts about Joe Allen, once he is medically cleared I think he will recapture his early season form and get even better. He will be a very important player for us next season and in the seasons beyond. It's great to see some exciting young attacking talent coming into the club but someone has to get the ball to them and Joe will play a big part feeding the ball to these guys. Another player I'd be very happy to see the back of is Stewart Downing. How on Earth someone could have valued him at £20million is beyond me. He finally put in a handful of reasonable performances in the second half of last season but even a blind squirrel can occasionally find an acorn! For me Downing has always been an average player who occasionally plays good, rather than a good player who occasionally plays average. But Downing has become an easy target for supporters ridicule and I don't want to resort to such things. So I'm not going to mention the fact that if the Romans had to rely on Downing for crosses, Jesus might still be alive today! Nor that he is the only footballer I've ever seen who is neither footed and I definitely won't be saying that he is the type of guy I'd like to see donating their body to medical science, preferably now! I try to keep myself above such pettiness. But with the new players that have come in and some of the other players in the squad surely there is no place for Downing, unless the tea lady retires! Anyway, I've got to save some stuff for next time so I'll leave it there for now. Keep the Faith

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“Unraveling Unrivaled Rivalries.” Posted: 01 May 2013 04:54 PM PDT So a brace from Sturridge and one from Henderson, finally a goal from a defender at a set piece, even if it was in "the 2nd phase of play" (whatever that fuckin means) and a "classic toe-nog" from SuperSub Fabio Borini (you're cursed now lad ) was just what the doctor ordered. Our season was in slight jeopardy of petering out like a 50 year old without his Viagra. Two somewhat dull 0-0 draws, were followed by "that incident" in what ended with a 96th minute 2-2 draw. Predictions of 3 draws from our final run of games fulfilled. … then we went to Newcastle… and prison-raped them. For all the plaudits they received last season, I felt it was inevitable that Newcastle would fall away this season. The extent to which they did so though, has shocked me. They've had to contend with a lot of injuries to key players. And they lost Demba Ba, which was always gonna hurt them. But the fact they are in a relegation battle is as surprising as last season's "challenge for 4th" to me. I watched Papas Cisse chasing down every lump “towards” him, with an energy that was matched only by the frustration that seemed to build with every goal we scored, and every minute that passed by, as his teammates seemed to just capitulate to the circumstance… … and I thought… "If he were Uruguayan, Jamie and Danny would be on the menu here." (What? too soon?) I think Newcastle will survive the drop. We seriously screwed their goal-difference, with OUR 6-1 THRASHING OF THEM, which has added to their woes, but with trips to West Brom & QPR, I'd expect them to get 3 points from one of those games, (and that should be enough, if only just, to see them safe,) before they have to host Arsenal at home. And as much as they've struggled this season, provided they don't lose their nut over the summer, (keep their best, add a few,) I'd expect them to get right back among the 2nd tier bracket (fighting for 6th to 10th) of teams next season. But who cares about Newcastle (other than the notion that if they did go back down, there's a few players there that could possibly be pilfered)? I only mention them because WE BEAT THEM SIX-NIL! Positive enough for youz? Then let me rinse and repeat… we BEAT THEM SIX-NIL??? It was like an 80's flashback… I was tempted to root out my old leather kecks and rising sun t-shirt… …And BEATING THEM SIX-NIL (ahh… it never gets old does it?) was important! You could say crucial (go on I dare you) for more glaringly obvious reasons than that we host our cross-town neighbors this weekend. I know there are those among our fanbase that no longer see the fixture against Everton as "the biggest game of the season". …To some extent it isn't. Games against the Mancs… and even to some, the games against Chelsea have a much bigger bite! (oh no you di'n't) Our rivalry with Everton was unrivaled through the 80s… but through the 90s, as the Mancs morphed like the alien in "The Thing" into the Leviathan Juggernaut they now are… our rivalry with them grew to rival our rivalry with Everton. Jose Maurinho and a couple of CL semi-finals saw to it that the Chavs grew close to that level of rivalry also. … and as Everton fell from their heights of the 80s, to the Dogs of War relegation scrappers they became for much of the 90s and into the 00s… the game became less significant for some. Not for me… I have relatives that are Blues. Thank God, Yahwey, Allah, Buddah, Krishna, or even Jupitor's cock… my Mum married a Red… coz her whole family are Bitters. (I'm not sure a sentence containing the words "my mum" should have a “Spartacus” reference to the word “cock” in it… in fact I'm sure it shouldn't, but I'm on a roll…) (wait… roll… that’s just so wrong ) So for me, the game against Everton is still a BIG one. …and to that end, (wait… cock, big one… that end??? Hmmm?) … to that end this particular season, the game has some of the added spice it once held in the past… with Everton sitting unusually, 5 points above us in 6th. As though any game isn't a "must win game" … this is a quintessentially pundit’s "must win game" … for all the clichés… setting down a marker, showing intent, blah, blah, … but simply for the old cross-town rivalry that still burns as brightly in EVERY Everton Heart, even if that flame dimmed some in Red Ones. (I was going to make a reference to our season being like a visit to a dim-sum restaurant, but I'll forgo it) Win at the weekend and we close the gap to 2 points. (and we'll have a better than +11 goal difference, which may come into play?) Everton have put a good season in. They are capable of putting together some fast, free flowing, passing football. But they've stumbled a bit too and have weaknesses to exploit. We've displayed our weaknesses to anyone who fancied exploiting them this season. … they were there for all to see (even if they weren't taken advantage of by West Ham and Reading)… … but the games against Chelsea and Newcastle showed what we are capable of. With Everton to host West Ham, before ending their season at Chelsea… …Liverpool will visit Fulham, before hosting QPR… … if I was a betting man, (I'm actually expecting us to bag all 9 points in style,) I'd bet on us breaking those Everton Hearts. I fancy a “classic” THREE – NIL!

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“What Can We Take(away) From Sunday?” … or “Ivan to Drink Your Blood” … or “There Are Easier Ways to Get Your Daily Bran, Lad.” Posted: 22 Apr 2013 07:41 PM PDT Who knew Branislav Ivanovic was finger lickin' good? Personally, I'd have never guessed it. He doesn't look it. But then again, I'm not gay, so I can't really profess to be the best judge of which professional Premier League footballers, "look a bit tasty", and which don't … …The Girls of SkySports? …Sure, I have my opinions on just how tasty each of them is… but footballers? (And fuckin Chav footballers at that?) I can't even imagine what was going through the lad's mind to be honest. I've played a lot of football in my years. I've been on the receiving end of some fairly rough treatment by lads bigger and stronger than me. And I've wanted to crack a few of them… but I can't ever remember wanting to eat one. The Girls of SkySports? Well, I'd like to eat most of them… I've defended Suarez in the case of what I still believe were spurious allegations made by Evra, and Fungus, and the English media in general… I've defended him in regards the diving accusations… Sure he has gone down dramatically, but for every dive, there are 3 clear-cut, and often dangerously "take-him-out" tackles that refs have waved on… (in this very game David Luis and Ivanovic gave the lad some very rough treatment.) … but for me, I draw the line (personally) at biting! Maybe its as the TAW guys suggested today… it's a perception thing…. …biting is just so childish… …like pulling hair is considered girlish. If Suarez had hauled off and punched Ivanovic in the face, I might be well behind him (as I said, its not like defenders don't dish it out). If he'd toe-nogged him in the testicles, so hard it drove his nads up into his intestines, I'd likely have written it off as nothing more than a Chav really deserved. … but it was a bite… and a rather daft, lame, petulant, and not-even-blood-drawing one. (If you're gonna bite the fucker Luis, at least leave him looking like Griffin Dunne in the movie theatre scene from "American Werewolf in London"… it's not like you haven't got the fuckin teeth for it after all.) So here we are again… Yet another Luis Suarez Controversy. I feel a bit daft writing a whole blog about it to be honest… but there is a larger issue at hand in my opinion… I suppose if nothing else, the one thing you can count on is that LFC fans (fans everywhere) have an opinion one way or the other on this guy… no fence sitting where our Luis is concerned… … but therein lies the problem for many of us… … "our" Luis. We like to take possession of our "best and brightest" at Liverpool. It's why the likes of Owen, MacManaman, and Torres are so vilified. We get behind these talents to such an extent…. we support them unconditionally… so when they "betray" us… Hell might not have fury like a woman scorned… but The Kop sure does. So along comes a player who, at his best, is more unplayable than the aforementioned 3 players rolled into one… and of course, we love him. … but at his worst, draws not just the ire of opposing players, managers and the media, but colours all those who rush to his side in support, (at least outside of the LFC fanbase) as racists, as cheats, as thugs… … and none of those descriptions fit with our hard fought reputation as Liverpool fans. There are those among our fanbase who have written this guy off. They did so following the Evra affair, so this is hardly even the last straw for some. (My own nephew views him as a "stain on the City" in the aftermath of Evra, and would welcome his sale.) There are those that see this as just another funny incident in the story of a mad bastard of an entertaining footballer, and continue to be fully supportive of him (provided he seeks some counseling.) … but as was asked on TAW… can such inexplicably pushed-over-the-edge, blow-your-top behavior be "counseled" out of Suarez… without also dulling down that clearly deep-seated, win-at-all-costs mentality that contributes so much to what makes him such a terrific footballer? The first is almost an emergency "need" for LFC right now. The latter could be "yet another self inflicted wound". It is almost universally accepted at this point, that he will be banned for the remainder of the season. If that is the worst outcome, perhaps there could be a silver lining in the incident. He was on course to miss the Asia Tour due to his other summer footy commitments. Maybe we should just send him on holiday now… (but err, send a psych counselor with him)… and let him get some much needed rest and recuperation… prior to those commitments… so he can join up with the tour following his National commitments. It is, however, also being suggested in some quarters that he may just have played his last game in a red shirt… (if Fungus has his way, the FA will push this agenda.) I know Ian Ayre has stated that we have no interest in selling Luis… and let's be honest a word from Ayre is like divinely scribed stone tablets… so not to worry, then… (… and without blindly walking into the trap I've so oft been accused of… while not "reading between the lines", or "taking him out of context", I personally don't trust such statements for a minute.) There are those that have suggested we "take 50 million for him" in the summer and rebuild. I don't think that is at all realistic, even if he were saintly. The more oft talked about 35 million sounds closer to what I'd expect to see offered. But it's worth reminding people that part of the reason we got Suarez for only 22 million, was a slight devaluation in his "worth" following his earlier flirtation towards cannibalistic tendencies in Holland. How long the anti-Suarez fervor remains in the press (and we could get lucky in that the Mancs' 20th and developments in the tight race for 3rd and 4th should occupy most of the guttersnipes,) and just how severe the FA opts to be towards him… … will I think determine whether or not there is any devaluation from that 35 million. But he also has a FIFA charge pending against him for punching an opponent while on International duty (now your talking Luis lad, that's more like it, Scousers can get behind that, now back to yer corner and wait for the bell,) and the combination of the two charges, and their subsequent punishments, could very well limit his suitors and/or any offer they're willing to make. My money would be on it lowering his valuation… but Henry still having had enough of someone who brings bad press to a brand he's trying to build… … so I'm quietly betting… (he says publicly on a blog,) (and not that this is what I want, but more, what I expect to happen) …on us selling him for about 25-to-30 million… … and Henry (in an attempt to "Andy" his sale in the same way they did Nando's) spunking that 30 million straight up on a player they hope will be a direct 30 goal replacement. …Time will tell I guess. There is a wide array of opinions about all of this… among my close circle of Reds friends… among the wider LFC community… no doubt on Kopblog… so let the comments commence…

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“Progress” … or How I Learned to Sit on the Fence and Enjoy The View. Posted: 08 Apr 2013 09:32 PM PDT "Liverpool are much better under Brendan Rodgers." …So says Glenn Johnson. …and he would know right? He's on the inside after all. "He's like the English Messi." …and so said Steven Gerrard (rather embarrassingly in retrospect) about Joe Cole… …so errr… you know… what players say ain't exactly indisputable gospel. I'm glad the lad is enjoying his football (maybe he could put a bit more thought into what he does on the field if that's the case, like,) but Glenda's opinion is one I've been reading quite a bit lately, so I know there are a fair few Reds fans out there that hold the same opinion. Me… I'm just not one of them. Which is not to say that I am definitely and intractably in the opposite camp. I personally find myself in a weird sort of "limbo" area, where I'm occasionally pleasantly surprised, more often particularly frustrated, but just mostly a bit like Kelly McGillis in Top Gun… having "Lost That Lovin Feelin" (and hoping a bunch of Navy Fighter Jocks don't start suddenly singing to me.) (yeah right… like that's just me?) I still troll a bit of Reds news on a daily basis… I still watch LFC games every week… ..but this week, for the first time, I saw the scheduled 5:30am kick off and thought "fuck that, I'll DVR it and watch it when I get up." It is the first time I've not gotten out of bed regardless of kick off time, and watched the match live. And frankly I'm pretty glad that was the case given the tepid performance against a West Ham side that parked a bus and said, "go on then, show us what you got". (Don't get me wrong, it was no Southampton debacle… far from one of those far too oft quoted "worst performance I've seen from the Reds"… though Southampton was close as fuck to earning that distinction…. but the game was pretty "meh", considering the opposition.) Is Liverpool Football Club making progress? Maybe that's not really the right question to ask? Maybe we need to be asking, "What is progress"? Who defines it, after all? For me… "progress" has to be quantifiable. There's no doubt you can point to certain areas and say… haha, there it is, right there… progress! Last year we hit the post 40odd times. This year we seem to have developed a serious aversion to wood and are tucking them away. Last year at least 5 goalkeepers that I can think of just off the top of my head, faced Liverpool and put in the performance of their careers to rob us of points. I can't honestly think of a single keeper that has done that this season. So we've scored 59 goals as a result… compared to 47 last season… with 6 games left to play. Progress? Yes obviously its progress to score more goals and therefore put a few more points on the board… … but I don't know that I agree those stats indicate a "clear improvement in our attack" which is what I've read a lot of comments say recently. They show an improvement in goal scoring, but not in attack in general, since last season we were creating hatfuls of chances every game (that's attack) but just not converting them. Last season we finished 8th on 52 points This season we are in 7th on 49 points with 6 games remaining (essentially 18 points to play for, to add to that 49) So again… that looks like progress of a sort, and we'll know in May by what measure of progress it is. Last season we won 14 games… so far this season we have won 13. Last season we drew 10 games… so far this season we have drawn 10. Last season we lost 14 games… so far this season we have lost 9. So with 6 games left, there is likely to be an overall improvement to those stats… but again, one that is only really marginal (unless we win all 6?) And then we come to "goals conceded". …40 last season. …40 (to date) this season. (so… 6 clean sheets required then.) …and yet there's a fair groundswell of opinion that defensively we are considerably worse this season??? And of course… there are the cups. Last season: Played for 2. Won 1. Runners-up in the 2nd. This season: Played for 3. Exited (early) in all 3. I know some don't want to be bothered with these pesky cups… and would prefer to stick their fingers in their ears and chant "la, la, la, la" to those that would suggest this is regression… but that's what it is whether you like it or not. If you add cup games played to the above stats, it reads like this Last season: Won 25 Drew 11 Lost 15 This season: Won 21 Drew 15 Lost 11 (with 6 games to be played) I guess my point… if I have one… is simply… statistically… for me, any progress is marginal. "But we're playing lovely possession football" Are we? Are we really? Coz I'm seeing as many 50 yard Hollywood balls from Stevie G this season as we saw from both him and Charlie "the King of Hollywood Balls" Adam last season combined. … and speaking of Stevie G. Big Kudos to the man for soldiering into an age-defying season after several injury blighted seasons. He's made some of his teammates look like Championship material this seasons…. But… … For Fucks Sake Lad… go practice how to take a fuckin corner will you? … or pass the duties off to someone who can. There was quite the long-running joke regarding the "value" of Charlie Adam corners last season… …but if Stevie G. twats the ball into one more defender's nads… … or takes one more corner that resembles Maverick doing a fuckin low altitude fly-by, 50 feet off the deck, causing a norwegian tourist in row 13 to spill his coffee all over his new replica shirt, before cashing and burning into the opposing corner flag… … I'm taking fuckin hostages! (attn: NSA internet monitor…. I am not actually going to take hostages, so please don't sent the FBI or ATF or Blackwater strike team to my house.) So, does it simply come down, for some, to "we have a better squad" than last season. Sturridge and Coutinho are clearly quality signings. Assaidi and Borini have added little to the squad. Hendo and Downing have improved on their past season. Carra has been a revelation, while Skrtel has been a capitulation. Joe Cole has been sold. But for all of last summer’s discussions of who could "fit into Brendan Rodgers style of playing" and who couldn't… … there's this little tidbit from LFC.tv "Jamie Carragher was the best passer on the pitch against West Ham on Sunday with one of the season’s highest accuracy rates. While the only stat in football that really matters is the final score, Carragher’s figures make interesting reading. An impressive 54 of the Scouser’s 56 passes found their man – and the 35-year-old played a higher percentage of long passes than his fellow defenders too (12.5 per cent). Carragher’s overall accuracy of 96.4 per cent was the sixth highest in the Barclays Premier League this weekend behind Papiss Cisse (100 per cent), Steven Taylor (97.62), Antolin Alcaraz (97.44), Arouna Kone (97.14) and Steven Caulker (97.14). However, Carragher played significantly more passes than any of these players. And Opta stats show Sunday’s game was not a one off – with our No.23 dropping below 85 per cent only once in his 10 full Barclays Premier League games this term." … not bad for a guy who was "past his sell-by date" for the vast majority of Reds fans last summer. Maybe there's a lesson to be learned there about other players who've experienced slumps in form. (or got bombed out, perhaps??) (maybe not?) (Progress? Hard to quantify since he's retiring.) Anyway… you all have your opinions. I'm not gonna say, at this point, that anyone's opinion is right or wrong. Some will read what I've written and take it as anti-Brendan… … its not… … and that I have both feet firmly cemented in the "we haven't progressed" camp. … I don't. I'm just not in the "we've progressed and I'm happy with it" camp. For me this season has been a very mixed bag of shit and shinola. …some good stuff, some not so good stuff, some bad stuff. I'm not suggesting that there are not signs of encouragement…. there are. … but a "season in transition" suggested has been very much THAT… … and the coming summer will be part of that… a BIG part if we are to "transition" to something truly better next season.

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“The Culling of 5000 Badgers” Posted: 27 Feb 2013 06:42 PM PST Somewhere in West Gloucestershire and Sumerset a pilot program has been authorized to kill 70% of the badgers in each area. "Environment Secretary Owen Paterson told farmers at the National Farmers’ Union conference in Birmingham that he was committed to making sure the pilots went ahead. He said tackling bovine TB had cost the taxpayer £500 million in the past 10 years, and costs could reach £1 billion over the next decade if the disease was left unchecked. He said that research in the UK had shown that culling badgers, which can transmit TB to cattle, could reduce the levels of the disease in herds, and that Britain had to learn from experience elsewhere that the tuberculosis could not effectively be curbed without tackling the problem in wildlife." So what the fuck does that have to do with LFC??? …I hear you ask. The Culling of 5000 Badgers would have been a great Album Title for an 80s Heavy Metal Band… but for an LFC Blog? Maybe I just wanted an excuse to use the word "badgers" in a title? Maybe "The Culling of 5000 Badgers" was just more interesting than any of the alternative titles I'd thought up? Maybe… there is actually a parallel for LFC in there somewhere? If it please the jury, your lordship, I would contend that we've been seeing a bit of the old Badger culling going on at Anfield over the last few years… For "bovine TB" read "lack of success" and it has become a worrisome disease that LFC has responded to by culling: first owners, then executives, then managers and about 5000 players by last count… … but in the case of LFC… I'd suggest it is the actual culling, rather than the perceived "lack of success" that has been the self-inflicted disease which has "cost the taxpayer (LFC) £500 million in the past 10 years" Warning! History Lesson Alert! One of the proposed titles for this blog (prior to stumbling across an excuse to use the word "badger" in a footy blog) was… "The first rule of Italian Race Car Driving: What's behind you does not matter." (anyone who can name that movie gets a cookie) Some of you have taken umbridge to my "constantly staring into our past while ignoring the present" and probably quite like the first rule of Italian Race Driving. …but as a part-time dabbler in History… and while that was one of my fave movies and sayings back when I was the teenage owner of a muscle car, (cookie hint) …I also know that the saying "those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it" is so very, very often true. A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away… David Moores owned an LFC that carried a perfectly acceptable and manageable £70 million in debt… … He sold LFC to A Pair of Cowboys… …The sale price: £270million Within 12 months… LFC was £350 million in debt. … now if Moores had taken out a loan for £270… … not only could he have paid for the construction of a new stadium… … but that loan would be mostly paid off now… … and with Rafa still at the helm, I'd argue we'd be considerably better off on the field as well. (certainly no worse off than Arsenal… the trophyless, Top 4 Benchmark?) Instead… Moores culled himself. Then G&H culled Parry. Then Purslow culled Rafa. Then the Banks culled G&H. Then FSG culled Purslow… then Hodgson… then Kenny… …and a list of players that ranged from world class to wide-arsed along the way. …all to the tune of countless millions in defaults, in Architectural drawings, in severance packages, down the drain. Thus endeth today's history lesson. We have a worldwide fanbase and that makes it diverse… …and as such, the opinions of fans, on any number of LFC topics, are equally diverse. There used to be a standard though… a benchmark if you will… that established what was acceptable discussion and what was simply "crazy bastard on a sopbox". I no longer see that "standard". Take offense at that if you will… some will feel compelled to, some will leap to it just to disagree with me. … but at the very least, that "standard" has been lowered. When G&H flirted with Klinsman and the news leaked… fans marched on Anfield. When their financial shenanigans were laid bare, it prompted a fan-based, multi-fronted campaign to oust them that was unprecedented in football. I doubt that Would have happened at any other club… I doubt it Could ever happen again at "ours". Now that's not to say "all is lost"… on the contrary… its just to ask the question… Who and/or what is Liverpool Football Club? It's a complex question… that elicits a different response among those who've followed the club for 3-5 decades, let alone between those fans and those newer to the club. (For those who've been around a good long while… do you still recognize your club?) I read a lot of comments around the web about Brendan Rodgers and his "new system of possession football". There are those who pointed to the Zenit game and said, "there it is, that's what we're building towards". … but that wasn't "death by football". What we've been playing for about 2 months now, bares little resemblance to the footy we were playing in September and October. StevieG is launching more Hollywood Balls in any given game lately, than Charlie Adam in a wet dream. That's not a slam on Rodgers… just a call for those who feel the need to vehemently support him to do so honestly and fairly. (and likewise for his critics.) Too many fans have already made up their minds about our current Manager. I'm at a loss to understand fully where the evidence is to support such a decision… … on either side of the fence. We've seen his team against Zenit and Swansea, and even both games versus the current Champions, but we've also seen them against Aston Villa. We saw them at the start of the season, and we've seen them since the New Year. It has been suggested that Brendan Rodgers is the New Shankly. I don't think he is. I think Rafa was that… …and given all that has occurred between his departure and Brendan's arrival… I would suggest that "the next Shankly" is not even remotely what we need right now… …what we need right now… is the next Gerrard Houllier. …and maybe Brendan Rodgers is (or can be) that? "We are in a season of transition," we have been told. That is what Houllier gave us… (although it was actually several seasons rather than one for the transition to take hold) We have been a "team in transition" for a long time… ..from Evans team that won a Cup, to Houllier's team that won a Treble, to Rafa's team that went to 2 CL Finals, winning one, 2 CL Semi-Finals, a League Cup Final, an FA Cup Final…all in just 6 years… …and since Rafa left… for 3 seasons we've been transitioning… (maybe its been even longer than that?) …It was clear to see what we were transitioning from and to between 2000 and 2008… …so we didn't have to ask… …But for a while now, when anyone has suggested a "season in transition" we should all have been immediately asking, "transition FROM WHAT… TO WHAT"? The more recent culling of the squad to "balance the books" might very well have been necessary… but was the way we did it necessary? And if it was necessary, one has to ask oneself if what the owners were looking to achieve with it in that time, is the same thing we fans were looking to achieve? We've absolutely rid ourselves of high salary/low return players like Jovanovic and Cole and mediocre players like Poulsen and Konchesky… … but we've also shed promising players like Meireles and Insua. (and that's without the experienced/and/or/class players we've lost recently) We challenged for the title in 08/09 and by all rights we should have won it… …even falling short, it should have been the stepping stone to the title… … instead, since then, we have floundered in the league… finishing outside the "venerated Top 4" spots 3 years running… with a 4th most likely. That seems weird when you stop to think about it. So much has happened since Rafa left, that it can't be only 4 years ago we had THAT team??? Archaeologists search for fossils and artifacts. "Fossils" are the mineralized remains of plants and animals, whereas "artifacts" are man-made objects, such as stone tools, or pots. BUT… the environmental setting in which these archaeological materials are found is called a "context". The things we all find argument with… Downing is shit. Stevie is a legend. Jovanovic was a waste of space. Cole was a waste of money. Hodgson was an idiot. Rafa was a genius… …these things are the "fossils" and "artifacts" of LFC discussion. All that bollox that happened between Moores selling the club and now, (and yes… certainly there is plenty of context prior to that time also, like Parry's lack of marketing savvy.)… that was the "context". … and its important to remember, or at the very least give fleeting thought to the context at play when forming any judgment of Brendan Rodgers, or where LFC currently is. It is a context that must include the dire decisions of summer 2010… to fire Rafa, to hire Hodgson, to buy the likes of Konchesky and Cole. …A stable and football-knowledgeable Anfield hierarchy would never have even remotely considered any one of those decisions… let alone all 4… at once! We were sold Hodgson as the safe pair of hands that would stop the freefall. Problem was… we weren't in anything even remotely like a freefall. We'd stumbled slightly as a result of lack of investment to "take the next step". Under Hodgson though, we immediately went into what was almost a catastrophic freefall, and it was in fact Kenny Dalglish that proved the "safe pair of hands" that not only arrested that freefall, but restored us to the "minus one" mark that we'd stumbled to in the final year of Rafa's tenure. But the context for all of that was absolutely the boardroom farce that saw an all-in cage-match Battle Royale between G&H, their own MD, the Royal Bank of Scotland, John Henry …and some Chinese bloke who owned a pizza chain. And it is for all those reasons, that I find it hard to compare LFC to Man United, Citeh, Arsenal, Chelsea, Spurs, or even Everton… let alone teams in other countries. I understand why people want to, I just don't see the comparisons as legit… Those used to be the teams that compared themselves to LFC, but they aren't the teams we can compare ourselves to right now… maybe some day soon we can again, but not now or in most recent times… We have always considered ourselves to be the most "unique" of clubs… but to a very large extent since 2005 for all we've done right, we made ourselves "unique" for All The Wrong Reasons. … and our travails of the last 3-7 years more closely compare us to the likes of Portsmouth and Rangers, rather than any Top, or even Middle Prem Club. So here we stand at yet another Crossroads. Another season without silverware (coz you know, last season's silverware was only pewter ) Likely to finish yet another season outside the top 4 We are Bill Murry in Japan, Lost in Transition, hoping that Brendan Rodgers looks good in pink knickers. (you're never gonna get that image out of your heads, no matter how hard you try. Your welcome. ) But that's the thing about the "context" and where we've been… The "transition" back into the Top 4 isn't going to take 1 season. It can't when we are constantly selling to buy. Our squad just isn't big enough or strong enough… and the competition have a headstart. We desperately need a quality left back. We desperately need a big, strong midfielder (in spite of having about 97 midfielders) We need another striker. We need a quality center back. We need… We need… We need… We need a quality left-winger, and a quality right-winger. We need… We need… …We need to ADD all of those to what we currently have, and not bring them in as replacements for the selling of Skrtel, or Agger, or Pepe, or the retiring Carragher, or ….. heaven forbid the Beyern rumors are true… … that is the "transition" we are in. And before we start contemplating replacing Brendan Rodgers "coz 8th isn't good enough" we better spare a thought for the "context" of such a decision… … that FSG will not bring in a manager of the sort of steel and nerve the position requires, a Special One, a Rafa, a "insert your fave name here"… … the "context" of firing Brendan Rodgers one year into his contract is that in all likelihood his replacement would be "a 2nd tier" Manager… We know what Brendan Rodgers HAS been capable of. We do not yet "know" what he IS capable of. Not yet. But I'd suggest we give him time to show us… …and that the Owners provide the proper context" for him to "achieve" it… … or the alternative won't be another "season in transition", it will be a BADGER… …err… no it won't be a badger of course, that's just silly and an obviously shameless and blatant attempt to use the word "badger" one more time before signing off… …it might be yet another "season in the wilderness" though…

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